Lds dating guidelines

[“Receive the Temple Blessings,” Ensign, May 1999, 26] More than 60 years of research proposes several factors that both witness and complement the attributes outlined by President Hinckley and Elder Scott. Jeff Larson has called “the marriage triangle” that we need to look at in choosing a spouse (see Thomas B.

Holman and Associates, Premarital Prediction of Marital Quality or Breakup: Research, Theory, and Practice [New York: Plenum, in press]).

The research shows that this kind of person will have a healthy sense of self-respect, maturity, self-control, and good mental and emotional health.

President Hinckley suggested you choose a person “who will complement you,” and Elder Scott says our choice should be a person who “is kindly understanding [and] forgiving of others.” Thus, we need to find a person not only of good character, but a person with whom we can have a good relationship.

Love, whether immature or mature, has three aspects—how love feels; how you think about love; and how you behave, or act, when in love.It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals, and standards. [“An Apostle Speaks About Marriage to John and Mary,”Improvement Era, February 1949, 76; also “John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, June 1975, 7–8] Researchers have also found that the greater the love couples have in their relationships before they marry, the more successful their marriages.It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness. It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity. However, one researcher reviewed dozens of studies on love and found that there is both “immature love” and “mature love.” Mature love, she declared, is the kind of love needed for successful marriage and family life (Patricia Noller, “What Is This Thing Called Love?No matter how romantic this idea is, it is not supported by prophetic counsel. Kimball said this: “Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.[“Marriage and Divorce,” in Speeches of the Year, 1976 (Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University, 1977), 146] Evidently, seeking for a mate is not a matter of waiting for that “one and only” to walk by and grab you.

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